Hey Grammys, I’ve Had Enough Shaking My Ass, I’m Ready To Save My Soul
The full lysst of Grammy nominations were released today. The Grammys are the Wrestlemania of the music industry, and we all know how much I love Wrestlemania. We wait all year for it. Every storyline, every song, every promo leads you up to that moment. Just like the Grammys. Every press release, every artist single, everything for labels + the industry leads up to the moment that you are nominated or you’re not. Then every moment after leads up until the moment that you win, or you don’t.
I have a Grammy. Well, I have three or four of them, but I have ONE grammy that I love the most (sorry) and the one who changed my life. Her name is Nonnie Marge and that grammy used to have a saying. In fact it’s the saying that changed my life. Grammy used to always say, “Alyssa, you’ve gotta shake your ass + save your soul.”
Grammy shook her ass. Constantly. While doing dishes, in the car, to the electric slide at weddings. She taught you that dancing, having fun, and moving your body was really important. Grammy also saved her soul. All the time. She was the embodiment of higher levels of thinking, compassion, love, and all for one and one for all- it’s a vibe.
But Grammy never said “shake your ass” OR “save your soul.” It was always both.
I graduated in 2007. I have a Britney Spears tattoo on my thigh, I know what happens when Cash Money Records takes over for the ‘99 and 2000. I LOVE pop. I love rap. I love hip hop. I love R&B. I love that the Grammy’s have finally done something about the “urban” categories. I love shaking my ass.
But when are the Grammys going to allow me AND YOU the pleasure of saving my soul?
Rock isn’t the “devil’s music” like “they” want you to think. God is the most rock and roll thing there is. The essence of GOD creates and destroys. It’s loud and it’s alive. Tornados, earthquakes, volcanos- pretty sure they’re all still considered acts of God whether you believe in her or not. You’re welcome.
Sex, drugs, and rock and roll have always been invitations to get to know yourself better, to achieve higher levels of consciousness, and before you take this out of context, I’m not talking about the manufactured drugs or artificial sex. Just like music, I’m talking about what’s real, organic, and natural. Losing yourself as “the individual” and coming into unity as “the one” while having sex, taking magic mushrooms, or singing along at a rock and roll show all feels the same way. (Do all three at the same time, I dare you.)
Rock and roll isn’t dead, either. You see the proof when a Fleetwood Mac song trends on TikTok. You see it when Motley Crue’s “The Dirt” drives their streaming up 2000%.
SO why are rock artists not even the ones nominated for rock categories at the Grammys?
It doesn’t take an expert to see that those nominated for the rock category aren’t even in the genre.
(I think explaining this any further would dilute the message. Let’s say it again. Rock artists are not even nominated for the rock category.)
AND THEN, (let’s take it one step further) why are the rock categories (which don’t nominate rock acts) not even televised on The Grammys?
We are told it’s because “rockstars” don’t show up and that doesn't make for good TV. We’re told that “analytics” and “viewership” proves that’s not viewers they want to see.
Well, let’s talk about it. Would you “show up” when you’ve been ignored or neglected? The “music business” is all about “relationships” and the industry’s relationship to “rock” has been one sided. They had no problem taking from the relationship for so many years, but when it came to giving, they just didn’t want to do that. They saw something else that made them more money, faster, and easier, and they wanted to do that instead. We found out the hard way as lyssteners that when you ignore and neglect the other half of the relationship, everyone suffers.
How do you “assume” viewers only want to see what you’ve shown, if they’ve never shown anything else in the last decade? If you don’t even allow rock artists, rock bands, and rock musicians as little as the nomination, how will anyone even be introduced to it? Are you lysstening?
Honesty + trust are key to successful relationships. So if we’re being honest, sure, “viral” hits and fast singles from other genres bring in a nice quarterly earnings report, but where is the sustainability? There isn’t any. Rock and roll legends and classics STILL sell out arenas. The music is timelyss.
BUT what happens when Guns N Roses isn’t around anymore in forty years to remind us of the sustainability factor? What careers have been developed for longevity instead of manufactured for “the moment?”
Manufactured for the moment is different than being present to the moment. Manufacturing is artificial. It’s fake. It’s saying that you’re paying attention while you’re really scrolling on your phone.
Rock and roll grounds you into the present moment, but reminds you the present moment is forever. It goes on and on and on when you let it. It’s presence. It’s losing yourself. It’s the sex/on mushrooms/ at a Beatles concert thing.
Rock and roll isn’t meant to go “viral”. Rock and roll isn’t a virus. Rock and roll is our soul essence and it’s been infected with the virus programming that slow, sustainable, and heart-felt music should be rushed, artificial, or manufactured, or not worthy enough to be on music’s ultimate night, The Grammy’s.
My grammy made sure to include everyone, that’s why everyone love’s going to her house. When I think of my grammy, when I think of “grammys” in general, “Grammys” don’t exclude, “Grammys” don’t play favorites. “Grammy’s” invite everyone and if you decline the invitation they ask why. “Grammys” lyssten.
So, Grammys… are you lysstening?
I worked 14 hours yesterday and my only breaks were cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My brother is a cook, my grandmother was a cook, I am not a cook, although I am blessed that Phillip thinks I am. I do enjoy what I can make, but respect + honor those who have the ability for it beyond what I am able to put together with five different colored vegetables on a plate.
Last night, I was planning a single release strategy, creating a content calendar, cooking dinner, and getting ready for this weekend’s show when I decided it would serve me to prep the butternut squash in the fridge for me + Phill’s favorite soup so I wouldn’t have to do it tomorrow which is really today.
I put the squash on the stove and went back to my office. And never went back. Two hours went by before Mitchy came inside to tell me that the entire pan was melting to the stove.
Life #lysstens, and the lesson is in the lysstening. It’s been a lesson I’ve had to learn over and over and over again (which probably means I didn’t learn it) throughout my life that rushing to get things done doesn’t get anything done faster. Instead of putting focused, intentional energy behind one thing, I was putting rushed and sloppy energy behind three things. There’s no use crying over spilt milk or burnt squash, but instead of squashing my time management goals, I just ended up squashing Phillip’s hopes for soup for dinner.
Splitting your energy or your focus or your intent is like lowering the volume on just one guitar or just one drum in the song. Because the energy isn’t all working together, it’s all over the place, and it sounds up and down and noisy instead of melodic. The guys are working on a new melody for a demo today and if they were focused on three other things (like squash) or soup or getting the next one done, this one wouldn’t have the energy it needs to take on a life of its own.
Squash your goals by lysstening to them one at a time. They each deserve your love, focus, and attention so that way your relationship with that thing (and life) continues to grow, and so the benefits you continue to harvest. Just like a butternut squash in California in November.
So, let me teach you everything
that I know about life.
The music industry is ALL about
relationships, and I manage a band,
I manage THE band,
I manage Wayland the band.
I manage the biggest band, greatest and
most amazing band that's ever existed.
And if you don't know, now you know.
SO, the music business
is all about relationships.
And I have been told that from the day
that I stepped foot into this industry:
"you don't have relationships."
"You need relationships."
The music business is all
and the music business is just like life
because life is music quite literally.
Also metaphorically, life is music.
We are in this vibrational reality.
We are on the earth.
We are musical beings.
We are all musical.
We're all notes in the same song.
And so to say that the music business is
all about relationships means that
LIFE is all about relationships.
What is your relationship with life?
What is your relationship
with every part of your life?
What is your relationship
with your finances?
Do you ignore your bank account?
Do you neglect your bank account?
Do you not look at it because you're
scared of what's actually in it?
If you're in a relationship with your
finances, a relationship
is give and receive.
A relationship is balanced,
a relationship is love.
A relationship feels good.
And when a relationship is balanced
and when a relationship is rooted
in love, a relationship grows.
What is your relationship with your money?
Are you avoiding it?
Are you neglecting it or are you thriving?
What is your relationship with your family?
What is your relationship with your house?
What is your relationship with nature?
What is your relationship with life?
There's a lot of people that want to talk
about "how to be successful" and they want
to talk about their morning rituals.
And, you know, they wake up at 5AM
and they do all this exercise and they
cook this breakfast and they pray
like this and they write like that and
they meditate and they
do ALL these things.
And that's great.
But I personally prefer
relationship over a ritual.
So what is my relationship to my morning?
Do I dread it?
Do I hate it?
Well, if I secretly have those feelings
of anger towards my mornings,
my morning knows that and my morning
is going to treat me accordingly.
So the point is, is that you, my love, are music.
You, my love, are a note in the song of life.
You, as you are lysstening,
are sitting there remembering that you
have a relationship with this life,
this amazing, blessed, sacred
opportunity that you have been given.
And so the music business, the business
of life is all about relationships.
Lyssten to your relationships.
If you lysstened to your bank account,
what would it ask you for?
If you lysstened to your
relationship with your partner?
What are they asking you for?
If you lyssten- most importantly-
to the relationship you have
with yourself, what have you
been neglecting or avoiding?
What do you want your
relationships to feel like?
I want them to feel really big and open
and expansive and fun and easy and sexy.
So that's how I create my relationships.
How do you want to create yours?
📌 How To Manage The Unknown
As a manager, I #lyssten, and as the manager of @waylandtheband I am blessed to lyssten to all of the magic that comes out of the studio. And the living room. And the bedroom. And around the fire in the backyard.
And right now they are working on producing their own music for the first time in their entire career and what I am #lysstening to is absolute gold. Winning grammy’s from the garage.
This morning, they’re working on a part. And they’re figuring out what sound will come next, what texture, what instrument, what frequency.
There’s no worry. There’s wonder.
There’s no anxiety. There’s appreciation.
There’s no cynicism. There’s curiosity.
It’s managing the unknown, not controlling it, that creates the space for the answers, the solutions, and the inspiration to arise.
If you’re focused on controlling the “how” or the “when” or the “shoulds” you aren’t opening up yourself to the “coulds,” to the possibilities.
Curiosity is the cure.
It’s your cure. It’s my cure. It’s the cure for all anxiety, all stress, and all confusion. When you lean into the unknown instead of resisting it, you open yourself up to the energy that creates worlds instead of closing yourself off from it.
Music is life, and you’re making music all of the time- whether you’re a musician or not. Your life gets to be your greatest hit, your biggest masterpiece, your legacy that goes on forever. Make it sound good and make it feel even better.
Everybody says, "don't lyssten to your haters" and as your manager, I'm telling you to lyssten to them. Lyssten to what they're saying, and more importantly, lyssten to what they're not saying, because when you lyssten, you'll start to hear that everything they're saying has nothing to do with you.
When someone is "hating" on you or saying nasty things about you, it has nothing to do with you.
It can be hard not to take it personally when you're just lysstening to the words and you're not lysstening to the frequency, to the vibe behind the words.
Actually tune in to hear what they are transmitting. So that way you can- just like a radio- receive what actually is meant for you. This will allow you to be able to respond in a way that creates harmony instead of a way that creates noise. What's meant for you is not the harm or the hatred. What's meant for you is the compassionate witnessing and understanding of what's underneath it all for them.
When somebody is spewing out negative, nasty things, something within them was triggered that they then projected onto you. And it's up to you if you willingly receive all of that hate and all of that nastiness or if you censor it. You have the ability to censor what you are receiving and what you are playing and what you are lysstening to. And when you censor it, and only take in what you choose to let into your field, you're able to realize what the words really are saying underneath it all. Just like they will replace words in songs on the radio with words that sound a little bit like them when they censor, you'll be able to lyssten to what the underlying message of what they're really trying to say.
Once you are able to lyssten, you're able to receive what the message actually is, which is usually an asking for help, or an unhealed wound asking to be looked at, or a childhood trigger that's still there wanting to be seen. It's nothing that you need to take responsibility for. However, it gives you an invitation to the opportunity to use your response- ability and to respond to it instead of react from it.
When you lyssten like that, you are able to lyssten with love. TO LOVE IS TO LYSSTEN.
And instead of being angry or judgmental, you end up being really compassionate and that compassion becomes your compass.
The compass is built right in to the word!!! And it helps you navigate a response that is going to serve you both. Sometimes, yes, that response is silence.
Silence is the spaces between the notes that creates the harmony in the song of all of us, because at the end of the day, we're all just want to play.
I’ve spent all morning packaging merch orders for @waylandtheband and as I #lysstened closely to what this experience had to tell me, this came through:
You can be the whole package. You are.
And sometimes it might take a little while for you to get to where you’re going.
Sometimes you might experience a bump in the right along the way.
Sometimes you might even get dropped off at the wrong house...
But no matter how long it takes, how many interruptions or interceptions, when you remember that your package- meaning what you have to offer- your timing, and your delivery is going to be perfectly received by the right person...
You’re perfect. You’re timing is perfect. You’re the whole package, not junk mail.
I love you.
My mom called me this morning and said, "Alyssa, there's no hope." I said WTF are you talking about? I'm right here!
My name is Alyssa Hope. For 20 years my family called me Hope-LYSS like Alyssa, and it took me that long to figure out how to stop being hopelyss and start being fearlyss.
I was hopelyssly devoted, just like Sandra Dee, except not to God or myself or love or anything positive. I was devoted to my suffering. To my depression. My anxiety. My victimhood.
I don't believe in labeling people victims. I believe in survivors. And we're all surviving, everyday on this planet, regardless of how much or "little" you think you've suffered. Surviving requires a hopelyss devotion to yourself, your success, and a fearlyss approach to life.
Being fearlyss doesn't mean doing scary or unintelligent things. Being fearlyss means being centered in your integrity. Being non-reactive, and using response-ability to respond from an open heart instead of a closed one. If you need hope, let me be your hope.
I live at the corner of Division Street + El Reposo street, literally, that’s our address, and metaphorically.
El Reposo means to “rest” and a lot of us think “rest” is “lazy” or “inactive.” We’re programmed to think “hustle” is all that’s worthy.
Rest is the most important part of being a human.
Rest is life.
Rest is active, rest is healing, rest is restorative.
Everyday, I have to choose to restore harmony in myself, otherwise I experience division.
Remember Kurt Angle and the 3 I’s? Intensity, integrity, and intelligence? Integrity is what being “Fearlyss” means.
what you say
what you think
what you do
is in alignment with who you know you are.
If you know you are loving, kind, and generous, are your thoughts loving about yourself? Are you kind to yourself? On the inside?
“As within so without.” That means how I feel on the inside affects what I experience on the outside. AKA- you feel shitty on the inside, you experience your day and events as also shitty. You feel amazing on the inside? That’s when even the shitty stuff looks not so bad.
Instead of focusing on the “division” going on outside of us with politics and news and all the things- what if we ALL focused on not having division WITHIN us. That’s the revolution that will change the world.
I’m at the corner of division and El Reposo street everyday- this is a practice to learn not to be divided against myself.
If managing a band taught me anything it’s that life is practice- not a performance.
And everyday when I stand at the corner I can choose “El Reposo” street- I can choose to REST in MY own integrity, and restore harmony within myself.
I love to watch wrestling but I’m done wrestling with myself. Managing @waylandtheband reminds me to stay in tune so I can play in harmony with everyone else.
Life is always talking, even in street signs.
Before you think that I have gone to the dark side, I invite you to #lyssten. Alyssa 3:16 says: "DTA, Don't Trust Anybody." Technically, Stone Cold Steve Austin said it, but we're going to borrow it here.
Don't trust anybody doesn't mean to be cynical. It doesn't mean to put walls up around your heart. It doesn't mean not to let anyone in. This is the complete opposite of what DTA means.
Don't "trust" anybody means to open your heart wide enough to let in compassion and understanding when you realize that we are all humans and we are all doing the best we can.
We have all experienced trauma. We are all survivors no matter how "good" or "bad" our life has seemed. We are all surviving on this crazy wonderful planet and we overthink. We don't think at all. Sometimes we're lost in the moment sometimes we miss multiple moments right in front of us. We self sabotage, we screw up, we make mistakes, we make statements that don't really reflect who we are, and sometimes we don't even know why.
It takes practice every single day to work on becoming in more and more integrity with yourself. Remember Kurt Angle's 3 I's? Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence will get you far, but not unless you practice them.
When you trust that no one will ever hurt you or make a mistake or betray you or do you wrong, you are doing you and them a gross injustice. You are expecting them to be perfect and expecting yourself to have perfect conditions to respond to, and that's not how life on this Earth works.
Giving people the benefit of the doubt, and lysstening to them, to what they're saying AND what they're not saying, helps you to learn to trust YOURSELF. It helps build your muscles of discernment so you can Stone Cold Stunner any negative thoughts right out of your own brain.
Practice trusting life. Trusting that people are doing the best they can. Trusting that your intuition is growing even right now as you read this.
Alyssa 3:16 says don't trust anybody, but compassionately love and understand everybody.