Yo Lyssten, Alyssa 3:16 Holiday Edition.
"It's the most wonderful time of year...unless it's not." How can you "make" this time of year "wonderful," when it feels the complete opposite?
When money, gifts, presents, unemployment, family, travel, and gee, IDK: a global pandemic are kinda sorta standing in your way? Well we can "make" anything as long as we have the recipe, + IDK if you've been smelling what the rock (and roll) manger has been cooking' (because it's rockstar boyfriend approved + delicious) but I've been in the kitchen lately, and the "secret ingredient" to the holiday season for me has been wonder.
You have to replace ALL the "worry" with "wonder" to make this season wonderful. Being "wonderful" doesn't mean being perfect or looking like a Hallmark movie. It means being FULL of WONDER.
When you are OPEN to what could happen instead of focusing on what isn't...that space can be filled with something that actually is. (Even if it wasn't what you wanted in the first place.)
Before I started managing @waylandtheband back when I used to work for my Fortune 500 company, we had a luncheon in between meetings when I overheard a casual conversation two people were having in reference to being able to know what kind of person you were by if you put your shopping cart back or not. If you put your cart back, that meant you were considerate and compassionate, and if you didn’t you were probably selfish and an asshole.
I at one point also subscribed to judgments like these, (usually towards myself) until I moved onto a tour bus and traveled the country and saw what different experiences looked like through all walks of life, and I am here to tell you that I’ve seen a lot of really big assholes put their shopping carts back and a lot of the kindest people be struggling with five different things and they completely forgot about the damn thing.
I was reminded of this two nights ago when Phillip and I were grocery shopping and I received a very alarming phone call from my family that knocked the wind out of me literally and completely, and the last thing on my mind was a shopping cart. I almost tripped right over it to get into the car as fast as I could, and then judged myself for forgetting. This is a very SMALL example considering what I talk about with friends and family everyday.
Job loss, death, grief, diagnosis’, unemployment is running out, your landlord is kicking you out, you don’t know how you’re going to feed your kids. These topics are not unique and unfortunately they are more common than not “in this current climate.”
And YES, we might be all experiencing the same “climate,” but some of us are in front of a fireplace in a mansion with central heating, slippers, and a glass full of Bailey’s and others are outside in the snow without shoes. So, no thanks, it’s not the same.
You can’t expect anyone (including yourself) to be in service mode if you can’t make it out of survival mode. “Survival mode”creates hate, resentment, judgment, competition, “not enough-ness,” you against me, instead of “us” against “it”... “it” being the “climate” that is tsunami-ing/hurrican-ing/and volcano-ing at the same time all over everyone.
This isn’t an invitation to be lazy or inconsiderate. This isn’t suggesting we all stop helping. This is offering a different perspective to tune ourselves to. I would personally rather lyssten to the radio station broadcasting how we can help other people than the one that broadcasts all the reasons why people suck.
When COVID hit and we all found ourselves on lockdown, when depression number skyrocketed and suicide and domestic violence rates went up, we turned to music. The musicians, the artists, the storytellers, who offered us a glimmer of hope, a reminder of faith, and the a remembrance to the unity we all have forgotten. These musicians, most of them, are not sitting in front of fireplaces with cozy slippers. Most of them are in survival mode doing the best they can to get by, and fractions of a penny on a stream is not enough.
Musicians have proved, again, that they are just like you, and just like me, doing their best to survive. They have experienced enough heartache, devastation, and situations that cause pain so we have enough of that content to last a lifetime. We're ready to experience the emotions of bliss + joy and create from a space of that.
The next time you’re “Shopping For A Savior,” remember that shopping carts hold things, but they shouldn’t hold judgment. Compassion should come in free samples + you should pass them out everywhere.
Music is how I manage. “That’s Life” for when shit gets really heavy, and “Dirty Angelina” when I need to stop thinking about all of this.
Hey Grammys, I’ve Had Enough Shaking My Ass, I’m Ready To Save My Soul
The full lysst of Grammy nominations were released today. The Grammys are the Wrestlemania of the music industry, and we all know how much I love Wrestlemania. We wait all year for it. Every storyline, every song, every promo leads you up to that moment. Just like the Grammys. Every press release, every artist single, everything for labels + the industry leads up to the moment that you are nominated or you’re not. Then every moment after leads up until the moment that you win, or you don’t.
I have a Grammy. Well, I have three or four of them, but I have ONE grammy that I love the most (sorry) and the one who changed my life. Her name is Nonnie Marge and that grammy used to have a saying. In fact it’s the saying that changed my life. Grammy used to always say, “Alyssa, you’ve gotta shake your ass + save your soul.”
Grammy shook her ass. Constantly. While doing dishes, in the car, to the electric slide at weddings. She taught you that dancing, having fun, and moving your body was really important. Grammy also saved her soul. All the time. She was the embodiment of higher levels of thinking, compassion, love, and all for one and one for all- it’s a vibe.
But Grammy never said “shake your ass” OR “save your soul.” It was always both.
I graduated in 2007. I have a Britney Spears tattoo on my thigh, I know what happens when Cash Money Records takes over for the ‘99 and 2000. I LOVE pop. I love rap. I love hip hop. I love R&B. I love that the Grammy’s have finally done something about the “urban” categories. I love shaking my ass.
But when are the Grammys going to allow me AND YOU the pleasure of saving my soul?
Rock isn’t the “devil’s music” like “they” want you to think. God is the most rock and roll thing there is. The essence of GOD creates and destroys. It’s loud and it’s alive. Tornados, earthquakes, volcanos- pretty sure they’re all still considered acts of God whether you believe in her or not. You’re welcome.
Sex, drugs, and rock and roll have always been invitations to get to know yourself better, to achieve higher levels of consciousness, and before you take this out of context, I’m not talking about the manufactured drugs or artificial sex. Just like music, I’m talking about what’s real, organic, and natural. Losing yourself as “the individual” and coming into unity as “the one” while having sex, taking magic mushrooms, or singing along at a rock and roll show all feels the same way. (Do all three at the same time, I dare you.)
Rock and roll isn’t dead, either. You see the proof when a Fleetwood Mac song trends on TikTok. You see it when Motley Crue’s “The Dirt” drives their streaming up 2000%.
SO why are rock artists not even the ones nominated for rock categories at the Grammys?
It doesn’t take an expert to see that those nominated for the rock category aren’t even in the genre.
(I think explaining this any further would dilute the message. Let’s say it again. Rock artists are not even nominated for the rock category.)
AND THEN, (let’s take it one step further) why are the rock categories (which don’t nominate rock acts) not even televised on The Grammys?
We are told it’s because “rockstars” don’t show up and that doesn't make for good TV. We’re told that “analytics” and “viewership” proves that’s not viewers they want to see.
Well, let’s talk about it. Would you “show up” when you’ve been ignored or neglected? The “music business” is all about “relationships” and the industry’s relationship to “rock” has been one sided. They had no problem taking from the relationship for so many years, but when it came to giving, they just didn’t want to do that. They saw something else that made them more money, faster, and easier, and they wanted to do that instead. We found out the hard way as lyssteners that when you ignore and neglect the other half of the relationship, everyone suffers.
How do you “assume” viewers only want to see what you’ve shown, if they’ve never shown anything else in the last decade? If you don’t even allow rock artists, rock bands, and rock musicians as little as the nomination, how will anyone even be introduced to it? Are you lysstening?
Honesty + trust are key to successful relationships. So if we’re being honest, sure, “viral” hits and fast singles from other genres bring in a nice quarterly earnings report, but where is the sustainability? There isn’t any. Rock and roll legends and classics STILL sell out arenas. The music is timelyss.
BUT what happens when Guns N Roses isn’t around anymore in forty years to remind us of the sustainability factor? What careers have been developed for longevity instead of manufactured for “the moment?”
Manufactured for the moment is different than being present to the moment. Manufacturing is artificial. It’s fake. It’s saying that you’re paying attention while you’re really scrolling on your phone.
Rock and roll grounds you into the present moment, but reminds you the present moment is forever. It goes on and on and on when you let it. It’s presence. It’s losing yourself. It’s the sex/on mushrooms/ at a Beatles concert thing.
Rock and roll isn’t meant to go “viral”. Rock and roll isn’t a virus. Rock and roll is our soul essence and it’s been infected with the virus programming that slow, sustainable, and heart-felt music should be rushed, artificial, or manufactured, or not worthy enough to be on music’s ultimate night, The Grammy’s.
My grammy made sure to include everyone, that’s why everyone love’s going to her house. When I think of my grammy, when I think of “grammys” in general, “Grammys” don’t exclude, “Grammys” don’t play favorites. “Grammy’s” invite everyone and if you decline the invitation they ask why. “Grammys” lyssten.
So, Grammys… are you lysstening?
I worked 14 hours yesterday and my only breaks were cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My brother is a cook, my grandmother was a cook, I am not a cook, although I am blessed that Phillip thinks I am. I do enjoy what I can make, but respect + honor those who have the ability for it beyond what I am able to put together with five different colored vegetables on a plate.
Last night, I was planning a single release strategy, creating a content calendar, cooking dinner, and getting ready for this weekend’s show when I decided it would serve me to prep the butternut squash in the fridge for me + Phill’s favorite soup so I wouldn’t have to do it tomorrow which is really today.
I put the squash on the stove and went back to my office. And never went back. Two hours went by before Mitchy came inside to tell me that the entire pan was melting to the stove.
Life #lysstens, and the lesson is in the lysstening. It’s been a lesson I’ve had to learn over and over and over again (which probably means I didn’t learn it) throughout my life that rushing to get things done doesn’t get anything done faster. Instead of putting focused, intentional energy behind one thing, I was putting rushed and sloppy energy behind three things. There’s no use crying over spilt milk or burnt squash, but instead of squashing my time management goals, I just ended up squashing Phillip’s hopes for soup for dinner.
Splitting your energy or your focus or your intent is like lowering the volume on just one guitar or just one drum in the song. Because the energy isn’t all working together, it’s all over the place, and it sounds up and down and noisy instead of melodic. The guys are working on a new melody for a demo today and if they were focused on three other things (like squash) or soup or getting the next one done, this one wouldn’t have the energy it needs to take on a life of its own.
Squash your goals by lysstening to them one at a time. They each deserve your love, focus, and attention so that way your relationship with that thing (and life) continues to grow, and so the benefits you continue to harvest. Just like a butternut squash in California in November.
So, let me teach you everything
that I know about life.
The music industry is ALL about
relationships, and I manage a band,
I manage THE band,
I manage Wayland the band.
I manage the biggest band, greatest and
most amazing band that's ever existed.
And if you don't know, now you know.
SO, the music business
is all about relationships.
And I have been told that from the day
that I stepped foot into this industry:
"you don't have relationships."
"You need relationships."
The music business is all
and the music business is just like life
because life is music quite literally.
Also metaphorically, life is music.
We are in this vibrational reality.
We are on the earth.
We are musical beings.
We are all musical.
We're all notes in the same song.
And so to say that the music business is
all about relationships means that
LIFE is all about relationships.
What is your relationship with life?
What is your relationship
with every part of your life?
What is your relationship
with your finances?
Do you ignore your bank account?
Do you neglect your bank account?
Do you not look at it because you're
scared of what's actually in it?
If you're in a relationship with your
finances, a relationship
is give and receive.
A relationship is balanced,
a relationship is love.
A relationship feels good.
And when a relationship is balanced
and when a relationship is rooted
in love, a relationship grows.
What is your relationship with your money?
Are you avoiding it?
Are you neglecting it or are you thriving?
What is your relationship with your family?
What is your relationship with your house?
What is your relationship with nature?
What is your relationship with life?
There's a lot of people that want to talk
about "how to be successful" and they want
to talk about their morning rituals.
And, you know, they wake up at 5AM
and they do all this exercise and they
cook this breakfast and they pray
like this and they write like that and
they meditate and they
do ALL these things.
And that's great.
But I personally prefer
relationship over a ritual.
So what is my relationship to my morning?
Do I dread it?
Do I hate it?
Well, if I secretly have those feelings
of anger towards my mornings,
my morning knows that and my morning
is going to treat me accordingly.
So the point is, is that you, my love, are music.
You, my love, are a note in the song of life.
You, as you are lysstening,
are sitting there remembering that you
have a relationship with this life,
this amazing, blessed, sacred
opportunity that you have been given.
And so the music business, the business
of life is all about relationships.
Lyssten to your relationships.
If you lysstened to your bank account,
what would it ask you for?
If you lysstened to your
relationship with your partner?
What are they asking you for?
If you lyssten- most importantly-
to the relationship you have
with yourself, what have you
been neglecting or avoiding?
What do you want your
relationships to feel like?
I want them to feel really big and open
and expansive and fun and easy and sexy.
So that's how I create my relationships.
How do you want to create yours?
📌 How To Manage The Unknown
As a manager, I #lyssten, and as the manager of @waylandtheband I am blessed to lyssten to all of the magic that comes out of the studio. And the living room. And the bedroom. And around the fire in the backyard.
And right now they are working on producing their own music for the first time in their entire career and what I am #lysstening to is absolute gold. Winning grammy’s from the garage.
This morning, they’re working on a part. And they’re figuring out what sound will come next, what texture, what instrument, what frequency.
There’s no worry. There’s wonder.
There’s no anxiety. There’s appreciation.
There’s no cynicism. There’s curiosity.
It’s managing the unknown, not controlling it, that creates the space for the answers, the solutions, and the inspiration to arise.
If you’re focused on controlling the “how” or the “when” or the “shoulds” you aren’t opening up yourself to the “coulds,” to the possibilities.
Curiosity is the cure.
It’s your cure. It’s my cure. It’s the cure for all anxiety, all stress, and all confusion. When you lean into the unknown instead of resisting it, you open yourself up to the energy that creates worlds instead of closing yourself off from it.
Music is life, and you’re making music all of the time- whether you’re a musician or not. Your life gets to be your greatest hit, your biggest masterpiece, your legacy that goes on forever. Make it sound good and make it feel even better.
Everybody says, "don't lyssten to your haters" and as your manager, I'm telling you to lyssten to them. Lyssten to what they're saying, and more importantly, lyssten to what they're not saying, because when you lyssten, you'll start to hear that everything they're saying has nothing to do with you.
When someone is "hating" on you or saying nasty things about you, it has nothing to do with you.
It can be hard not to take it personally when you're just lysstening to the words and you're not lysstening to the frequency, to the vibe behind the words.
Actually tune in to hear what they are transmitting. So that way you can- just like a radio- receive what actually is meant for you. This will allow you to be able to respond in a way that creates harmony instead of a way that creates noise. What's meant for you is not the harm or the hatred. What's meant for you is the compassionate witnessing and understanding of what's underneath it all for them.
When somebody is spewing out negative, nasty things, something within them was triggered that they then projected onto you. And it's up to you if you willingly receive all of that hate and all of that nastiness or if you censor it. You have the ability to censor what you are receiving and what you are playing and what you are lysstening to. And when you censor it, and only take in what you choose to let into your field, you're able to realize what the words really are saying underneath it all. Just like they will replace words in songs on the radio with words that sound a little bit like them when they censor, you'll be able to lyssten to what the underlying message of what they're really trying to say.
Once you are able to lyssten, you're able to receive what the message actually is, which is usually an asking for help, or an unhealed wound asking to be looked at, or a childhood trigger that's still there wanting to be seen. It's nothing that you need to take responsibility for. However, it gives you an invitation to the opportunity to use your response- ability and to respond to it instead of react from it.
When you lyssten like that, you are able to lyssten with love. TO LOVE IS TO LYSSTEN.
And instead of being angry or judgmental, you end up being really compassionate and that compassion becomes your compass.
The compass is built right in to the word!!! And it helps you navigate a response that is going to serve you both. Sometimes, yes, that response is silence.
Silence is the spaces between the notes that creates the harmony in the song of all of us, because at the end of the day, we're all just want to play.
I’ve spent all morning packaging merch orders for @waylandtheband and as I #lysstened closely to what this experience had to tell me, this came through:
You can be the whole package. You are.
And sometimes it might take a little while for you to get to where you’re going.
Sometimes you might experience a bump in the right along the way.
Sometimes you might even get dropped off at the wrong house...
But no matter how long it takes, how many interruptions or interceptions, when you remember that your package- meaning what you have to offer- your timing, and your delivery is going to be perfectly received by the right person...
You’re perfect. You’re timing is perfect. You’re the whole package, not junk mail.
I love you.
My mom called me this morning and said, "Alyssa, there's no hope." I said WTF are you talking about? I'm right here!
My name is Alyssa Hope. For 20 years my family called me Hope-LYSS like Alyssa, and it took me that long to figure out how to stop being hopelyss and start being fearlyss.
I was hopelyssly devoted, just like Sandra Dee, except not to God or myself or love or anything positive. I was devoted to my suffering. To my depression. My anxiety. My victimhood.
I don't believe in labeling people victims. I believe in survivors. And we're all surviving, everyday on this planet, regardless of how much or "little" you think you've suffered. Surviving requires a hopelyss devotion to yourself, your success, and a fearlyss approach to life.
Being fearlyss doesn't mean doing scary or unintelligent things. Being fearlyss means being centered in your integrity. Being non-reactive, and using response-ability to respond from an open heart instead of a closed one. If you need hope, let me be your hope.