From hopelyss to fearlyss

On my 18th birthday I went straight to the tattoo shop as soon as they opened at 11am. It was my friend’s mom’s shop and I knew exactly what I wanted: “HOPELYSS” across my back in Old English.

Why? Because it was 2007, tramp stamps were hot, and my name is Alyssa Hope so “hopelyss” was all my family called me for the first eighteen years of my life. 

I thought it was the best idea. My friend’s mom, not so much.

She tried talking me out of it for over an hour and half because why would anyone want to be branded “hopelyss” for the rest of their life.

13 years later and I don’t brand myself “hopelyss” anymore, but it does serve as a constant reminder.

In each moment, am I being hope-lyss, or am I being fear-lyss? And I’m able to pivot from there.

Choosing to be fearlyss doesn’t just mean facing my fears and doing things I don’t want to do.

Being fearlyss means being neutral. Not reacting. Not allowing anything outside of me to control my response- which is both my ability and my power.

Being fearlyss gives me options, and options are how I create my world. 

For 18 years I was hopelyss. Even longer than that.

I still have moments of hopelyssness that occur in my day to day, but I never stay there for long because I remember that I have a choice, and I choose to be neutral.

I choose to observe. I choose to use discernment.

​I choose to be fearlyss.